Friday, December 18, 2009
Cross-cultural pragmatics
Think in a situation when communicating in a different culture made you feel strange (not just the language but also the situation). What happened? Why do you thnk that was? Did you create any steretopyes based on this experience? Could yu explain it through cross-cultural pragmatics?
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A friend of mine was a teacher in Northen Ireland, and she told me that she always felt weird when her colleagues asked her "How you doing?", because she always stayed talking with them for a while, and they were staring at her like "OK, what do I care?". She didn't find out until the end of the year that the answer they expected was a simple "Fine, how are you?"; they weren't trying to start a whole conversation.
ReplyDeleteEverybody knows that andalusian people are very "closer",I mean, we love touching each other, kissing every time we meet and so on.Well...the thing is that in sheffield one of our english friend saw these things as something very strange because he was always looking us like "Wuuoo". But one day he finally said: hey..are you lesbians or something?? 'cause you are always kissing and touching each other!!! and we had to explain him that in our country that was a very common thing...although he continued saying that we were lesbians ¬¬
ReplyDeleteThis mistake was created because of the difference between our culture or manners, because english people don't touch or kiss each other unless it is completely necessary...
When I lived in Germany I noticed that the culture was different. I lived with a German boy and an Italian girl. The Italian girl had a culture very similar of mine but the German boy does not. At first, when I gave him a kiss on both cheeks he gave me his hand. He was not used to kiss on the face. I explained him that we kissed with two kisses on the face either boy or girl. He already understood my culture. On the other hand, I also realized that they are very serious. One day I was talking with a friend on the subway. I was laughing and an old woman looked me serious. I thought that she wanted me shut up. I was very astonished because people go on the subway and they do not talk to each other. Everybody is in total silence but we are all talking and laughing here.
ReplyDeleteI think that this example is a type of cross- cultural communication listenership. There is a difference between our culture and our behavior in some situations. For this reason, our culture can be strange for them.
I also spent a year as an Erasmus student in Germany. I went there without having any idea of the language whatsoever but luckily I ended up living with four german guys. That helped a lot to get along with the language and at the end of the year I could say I had an intermediate level of the language.
ReplyDeleteBeing there, I was offered a job in an Italian restaurant so I worked as a bartender and waitress almost all the year. I remember I could not afford coming back home for Christmas so I spent all my holidays working at that restaurant. It was a bit weird because at the beginning I did not know any Italian either, so I had to be confronted with people talking to me in two different languages, which I had never talked or listened to before. Initially, it was really hard, however, after some time that experience proved to be very beneficial to me, since I was learning two new different languages at the same time.
Well, it was in that very restaurant that I had these situations that made me feel strange: I had to talk to German people and greet them in Italian but try to explain the menu in German using some Italian words. When English people came, I had to talk in English using some Italian and German words from the menu. Also, some people working there spoke German while others spoke Italian so in order to communicate I had to know how to speak both languages. Obviously, sometimes I got mixed up with English, German, Italian and Spanish to the extent that I did not really know what I was saying! But what is certain is that Italian people always gave me a different (and kinder) treat that German ones. I suppose the reason was the fact that Italian culture is pretty similar to Spanish one so it was easier to entail different (and closer) relationships with them. Thus, even though it was not my purpose, by the end of the year I realized I had learnt much more Italian than German!
Two summers ago, I spent 3 weeks in New York taking an English course. I did not know anyone at all, and my class was made up of Korean, Taiwanese and Brazilian people. I have to say that all of them were very kind to me from the very beginning, and I made good relationships with them quite soon. After a week, once I already had more confidence with them, three of us went to have lunch together after class. And there I was, the only girl sitting at the table with three Taiwanese guys. From my experience, I knew that the Taiwanese were rather shy people who talked very low, although they were very nice with me and the rest of my classmates, but I did not expected their behavior when eating: they didn’t say a thing from the moment they began eating and, stooping, did not lose eye contact with their meals! I felt like I was having lunch alone! So, a bit annoyed, I “scolded” them for ignoring the only lady at the table and I went further: I even told them how they must be sitting at the table, that is, straight and with their elbows off… They tried to follow my instructions, and we all laughed because of the situation. It was not until the end of the meal, when we were already outside the restaurant, that they explained to me that in Taiwan they were used to eating like they did, without taking to anyone and looking at their meal until they finish it. You cannot imagine how dreadfully sorry and ashamed I felt at that moment, and so I said to them, and apologized for being such a “commanding” person. I explained to them that I was not aware of the different costumes in their oriental culture, and asked for forgiveness… Fortunately, they understood me and laughed with me friendly. After that, I explain how different meals are in Spain, and how we tend to chat during meals and keep eye contact while doing it.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened in this particular case was a clear example of gap or lack of knowledge of the Asian culture for my part, which led to the clarification of the erroneous cross-cultural stereotype that I had created about Asian people: they are rather “rude” and “impolite” at the table.
(sorry, I said "costumes" above -that's why it does not make any sense xD- instead of CUSTOMS)
ReplyDeleteAnd what I meant with the last paragraph was to say that that experience helped me to clarify my pre-conceived and erroneous stereotype that Asian people are rude at the table.
I can't help it, I tend to complicate things...
Sara, I have to say that admire you a lot!! You were really brave to work a whole year in a place where you had to deal with 3 different languages and without knowing 2 of them! I have not been as lucky as you were, I mean, having that experience of learining two languages at the same time, and therefore I have not had that close contact with German people, but I can say that I agree with you that Italian people are quite open and sociable, and behave pretty much as we, Spanish, behave.
ReplyDeleteVicky, I laughed a lot reading your comment xDD It is totally true,we, Andalusians are really close and sociable people, and we love to give hugs and kisses to everybody, specially girls. What I did not know is that our shows of affection could be considered as "something more" to the eyes of English people... To be honest, that worries me a little! xD
ReplyDeleteGood anecdotes. Be aware that in order to be cross-cultural forms of miscommunication, they have to be related to forms of understanding, listenership, turn taking,... rather than just the language in itself.
ReplyDeleteNuria, I have shared all this moments with you. I remember myself always saying, how disgusting people! but now, I can understand that It´s a matter of cultural differences.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to comment, on day at the Uni of Köln (Germany) where Nuria and me were in the toilet waiting for one. We were talking in Spanish (more specifically in perfect Andalusian) suddenly, a girl comes out of the bathroom, stands in front of us and says (with the tipical face of a German):
ReplyDeleteGirl: Are you Spanish?
Me: Yes!
Girl: Andalusians?
Nuria and me (surprised): Yeeess!!
Girl: Se nota.... (in perfect spanish)
Nuria and me (walking behind her): Se notaa quee???? qué es lo que se notaaa???
In that moment I want to kill that girl, but now I realize that what she meant was that we had been talking very loud, using lots of gestures, laughing and some swearword... she noticed all differenced between cultures. From here, I apologize to all Germans =)
The first things that come to my mind while thinking about the cross-cultural differences are the kissing thing (in Spain)and "how are you" thing (in Uk or USA). Kissing on the cheek while you meet somebody for the first time is very strange in my culture as is any closer "body contact" if a person is not your friend.Therefore, I always feel a bit akward in such situations.
ReplyDeleteWhen I went the first time to USA and noticed that people were saying "how are you" and didn't even wait for answer I got really angry and didn't respond anything until I learned that it's only a greeting.
Other thing that I have noticed here in Spain and that is something unthinkable in my culture is the way the students speak and address the teachers. When they call them simply by their first names I feel uneasy always expecting that the teacher would tell them off as it surely would be the case in Poland. I think it happens due to the fact that the classes here are less formal and the culture in general is much more relaxed.
Maria Lasowska
Hey guys!
ReplyDeleteHere is a funny anecdote that happened to me long time ago when I was first visiting the U.K. Here it goes: My best friend and I went to Cambridge for a 3-week intensive course of English and one day we decided to go on a trip to London. Once we got there, we got a journey ticket for the Underground which as some of you know, allows you to take the subway as many times as you like for one day. Well, after getting out of the subway, my friend and I were just talking standing on the escalators when someone touched my shoulder and told me in a perfect Bristish accent "excuse me lady, but you must stand on the right" . Obviously, I didn´t like that comment and I was wondering who that guy was to tell me what I had to do. But after two seconds, I decided to move to the right side and let him go up. Moreover, I was surprised when I saw that there was a long line of people standing behind that guy and that they were all waiting for me to move to the right. I was completely overwhelmed and so was my friend. Later, a British friend of mine would explain to me that the left side in the escalators is reserved for people who are in a hurry. She also told me that there is a "please, stand on the right" sign next to the scalators but obviously, I did NOT see that.
Everybody knows that British people are characterized for being very polite. However, the stereotype that I created based on that assertion is that they are so worried about politeness and social norms that sometimes they turn out to be just the opposite, impolite.
Rocío Martínez
Karmenzita, I remenber this moment... I am laughing now but when it happened I did not understand this situation.
ReplyDeleteThe other day I met a friend’s sister. They are from South America but her sister is actually living in Switzerland. When my friend introduced her to me, she was going to give me three kisses. It was a bit shocking because I didn´t expect it. Since we both have knowledge of Spanish and she has been to Spain many times, I thought we would share the same social background. Even if we share the same language, the different social customs that we learn in the places where we live differentiate us. She apologises in the sense that she said she was used to that. I knew of the three kisses custom, but I didn’t know it was typical in Switzerland, as she told me.
ReplyDeleteThe first time I went abroad and out of Andalucia was in 2005 and I went to York (England) to do an English course for one month. While I was doing the course, I stayed in a house with a British family. Since my English was quite bad at that time (I wasn't even at University yet) I couldn't barely speak anything and if I did I felt a bit embarrased. One day my host mother told me that her daughter was coming for a visit together with her boyfriend. That evening, my host mother introduced them to me and sat down for tea. After finishing our meal we ate a delicious custard pudding, but the daughter's boyfriend ate it very quickly, then got up, excused himself and took all the dishes and started to wash up. That's when I said to myself: 'come on Edu, here you have the opportunity to be polite'. So I opened my mouth and said to the host mother: 'what a good son in law you have'.
ReplyDeleteSuddenly, they all stopped eating and stared at me, the boyfriend stopped washing up and look at me very scared and especially the daughter, who gave me an evil look, said: 'what did you say?'. Then I knew something was going wrong, but I repeated the same again. The daughter said to my very scared: 'no no no...sorry, we are not married' and everybody started laughing after that.
What I realised was that they don't call people 'in-law' until they are married, I had (as Irene said) a gap/lack of knowledge of their culture. So I tried to tell them that here in Spain people do tend to say 'yerno/nuera/cuñado etc...' before they are even married. So in the end, my chance to be polite turned into a situation in which I lost my face. But I also learnt that the idea of marriage scared the young couple :D
One day I was going to the University when I stopped in a pedestrian crossing. There, a black boy who was selling handkerchiefs asked me if I could give some coin to him. I gave one coin to him and showing his fist to me he said "Gracias, amigo!" I didn't know what he meaned with the fist so, he said that shaking fists is an African greeting while here, we shake hands.
ReplyDeleteOne year ago, when I was in Amsterdam as an Erasmus student, a friend of mine from Madrid (who didn't have a very good English...) protagonized a very funny anecdote. We took the bus everyday to visit an Italian friend, and when we goy off the bus we always said "thanks" to the bus driver, who normally answered "you're welcome". Some time after our arrival, he asked me: ¿este tío como sabe que acabo de llegar?, ¿tanto se me nota?, hahah, and I had to explain him the meaning of "you're welcome"...
ReplyDelete